Johnny English Strikes Again Navy Seal Copypasta

April 24, 2022 Post a Comment

About

Navy Seal Copypasta (as well known as the "Marine Copypasta", "Net Tough Guy Copypasta" and "Gorilla Warfare Copypasta") is a facetious bulletin containing a serial of ridiculous claims and grandiose threats that portray the poster as an Internet tough guy stereotype. In the original mail, the writer claimed to exist a sometime Navy Seal with a long history of combat experiences, using comical typos and hyperboles like "Gorilla Warfare," "300 Confirmed Kills" and "I tin kill you in over 700 means with merely my bare hands." Since its emergence in mid-2012, the copypasta has spawned a diverseness of spin-off stories, similar to the John Copypasta meme.

Origin

The copypasta is believed to have originated on the armed services and weapons enthusiast image board Operator Chan sometime in 2010. The earliest archived posting was submitted on November 11th, 2010 to 4chan's /jp/^[4] (Otaku Civilisation) board, in which the poster claimed to have seen the message previously on Operator Chan.

What the fuck did y'all just fucking say virtually me, you petty bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous surreptitious raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the summit sniper in the unabridged Usa armed forces. Yous are nil to me simply simply another target. I will wipe you lot the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You recall yous tin can get abroad with saying that shit to me over the Cyberspace? Think again, fucker. As nosotros speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is beingness traced correct now and then you better fix for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic picayune thing you lot phone call your life. You're fucking expressionless, child. I tin be anywhere, someday, and I tin kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that'due south simply with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed gainsay, but I have access to the entire armory of the United States Marine Corps and I will apply it to its full extent to wipe your miserable donkey off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the cost, you lot goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over yous and you lot will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

On May 24th, 2012, an anonymous user submitted a thread to the /pasta/^[1] lath, claiming he had created the original copypasta two to three years prior (shown beneath).

Navy Seal Copypasta and someone claiming to be the orginal internet tough guy - also has crude drawing of character puking rainbows

Spread

On April 4th, 2012, Redditor fahottie submitted a screenshot of a YouTube annotate featuring the copypasta to the /r/funny^[8] subreddit (shown below), where it received more than 20,000 upwards votes and 970 comments prior to being archived.

navy seal copypasta with Gorilla warfare corrected to guerilla

On May 22nd, YouTuber Copypasta Sings uploaded a musical version of the copypasta (shown below), which received over 87,000 views and 780 comments in the next 9 months.

On August 17th, Urban Lexicon ^[7] fellow member 487j submitted an entry for the term "gorilla warfare," defining it as training that "fake Navy Seals" receive. On November 16th, Newgrounds^[5] user JoePorter134 uploaded a dramatic reading of the copypasta. On January 10th, 2013, Redditor LiterallyKesha submitted the message to the /r/copypasta^[3] subreddit and provided links to several notable variations. In the adjacent month, the post received over 75 upward votes and 135 comments.

Richi Phelps Facebook Post

On February 13th, 2013, ten-year-old Richi Phelps posted a status update featuring a version of the copypasta adapted to Mexican slang on his Facebook profile folio.

In the following hours, Phelps' status update spread virally across the social networking site, with many Facebook users mocking the boy with photoshopped images for making exhibitionistic claims like having "extensive military grooming" background and "an arsenal of weapons" at his disposal, while unaware of the fact that information technology was a copied message. By February 14th, Phelps' viral status update had been identified equally an adapted version of the Navy Seal copypasta. That aforementioned day, the Mexican news sites SDP Noticias^[10] and Sipse^[9] reported on the phenomenon.

PROXIMAMENTE SOLO EN CNES INDESTRUCTBLES NO SE RECICLAN NI SE DESTRUYEN, SOLO SE CATAFIXIAN Draper Kauffman film

2019 Christchurch Mosque Shootings

On March 15th, 2019, shootings took place at the Al Noor Mosque and Linwood Islamic Middle in Christchurch, New Zealand, during which at to the lowest degree 49 people were killed and an additional 20 were injured. The attacks were livestreamed by the shooter on Facebook, which showed the shooter entering a mosque while shooting a shotgun, before switching to an assault rifle and murdering people inside. In a document shared on 8chan prior to the shooting, the suspected shooter put a version of the Navy Seal Copypasta nether the heading "You are a bigot,racist,xenophobe,islamophobe,nazi,fascist!" (shown below).

Top entries this week

Notable Variations

What in Davy Jones' locker did ye merely bark at me, ye scurvy bilgerat? I'll have ye know I be the meanest cutthroat on the vii seas, and I've led numerous raids on fishing villages, and raped over 300 wenches. I be trained in hit-and-run pillaging and be the deadliest with a pistol of all the captains on the loftier seas. Ye be nothing to me just another source o' swag. I'll take yer guts for garters and keel haul ye similar never been washed before, hear me true. You call back ye can hibernate backside your newfangled computing device? Think twice on that, scallywag. As we parley I be contacting my surreptitious network o' pirates across the sea and yer port is being tracked correct at present so ye better set up for the draft, weevil. The kind o' monsoon that'll wipe ye off the map. You're sharkbait, fool. I can sheet anywhere, in whatsoever waters, and can impale ye in o'er vii hundred ways, and that be but with me hook and fist. Not only do I be pinnacle o' the line with a cutlass, only I take an unabridged pirate armada at my brook and telephone call and I'll damned sure employ it all to wipe yer arse off o' the earth, ye canis familiaris. If only ye had had the foresight to know what devilish wrath your jibe was about to incur, ye might accept belayed the comment. Just ye couldn't, ye didn't, and now ye'll pay the ultimate toll, you buffoon. I'll shit fury all over ye and ye'll drown in the depths o' it. You lot're fish food now.

What the fuck did you just fucking say nigh me, you little shit? I'll have you know I graduated pinnacle of Japan and I'g responsible for heart attacks of criminals world wide, and I take 124,925 confirmed kills. I trained myself to be the best in a boxing of wits and I'm the god of this new globe. Yous are nothing to me merely but another name. I will wipe you the fuck out in a method that you tin't even comprehend, mark my fucking words. You think you lot tin become away with saying that shit to me over the internet? Think again fucker. As we speak I am contacting all my followers and your personal file is existence brought to my location right now so y'all better set for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little matter you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, someday and kill yous in over 2 1000000 differant ways, and that's just with my notebook. Not only am I extensively trained in finding out your name, merely I accept access to the entire arsenal of over 30 thousand world wild followers and I volition use them to their full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of this continent, you fiddling shit. If only you could accept known what holy retribution your trivial "clever" argument was almost to bring downwards upon you, possibly you would of held you fucking tounge. But you couldn't, y'all didn't, and now y'all're paying the toll, you god damn idiot. I volition shit fury all over you and y'all will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

What the swag did you just fucking yolo about me, you lot little wayne? I'll have yous know I graduated top of my class in the SwagFags, and I've been involved in numerous Obey Records , and I accept over 300 confirmed Swaggers. I am trained in wearing snapbacks and I'm the top poser in the unabridged Swagfag Ground forces. Yous are cipher to me but but another No swag. I will swag yous the fuck out with swagger the likes of which has never been seen before on this Globe, mark my fucking hashtags. You recall y'all tin get away with not taking pictures in the mirror over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my mom, she has alot of swag, and your ratchet ass is being traced correct now so you meliorate prepare for the yolo, nikka. The yolo that wipes out the pathetic picayune thing you call your swag. You're fucking expressionless, nikka. I can swag anywhere, anytime, and I can swag in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my baggy skinny jeans. Not only am I extensively trained in having plugs and serpent bites, but I have access to the unabridged Hollister store. and I volition apply it to its full swaggness to wipe your miserable swag off the face of tumblr, you little Not tendency follower. I volition swag yolo all over you and you volition swag in it. You're fucking dead, nikka.

What the fuck did you lot simply fucking type near me, you niggling bitch? I'll accept yous know I graduated summit of my class at MIT, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids with Anonymous, and I have over 300 confirmed DDoSes. I am trained in online trolling and I'm the top hacker in the entire world. You are zilch to me but only another virus host. I will wipe yous the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on the Internet, mark my fucking words. You recall y'all tin get abroad with typing that shit to me over the Internet? Remember again, fucker. Every bit we chat over IRC I am tracing your IP with my damn bare easily so yous better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic fiddling thing you phone call your figurer. Yous're fucking expressionless, kid. I can exist anywhere, anytime, and I can hack into your files in over vii hundred ways, and that's but with my bare hands. Non only am I extensively trained in hacking, but I have access to the entire arsenal of every piece of malware ever created and I will employ it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the confront of the world wide web, you little shit. If just y'all could have known what unholy retribution your picayune "clever" comment was about to bring downwardly upon y'all, maybe you lot would accept held your fucking fingers. But you couldn't, yous didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I volition shit code all over you and you will drown in information technology. Yous're fucking expressionless, kiddo.

What the desu did you lot just fucking desu almost me, you little desu? I'll accept you know I graduated superlative of my desu in the Navy Desus, and I've been involved in numerous surreptitious desus on Al-Desu, and I have over 300 confirmed desus. I am trained in desu warfare and I'm the meridian desu in the entire The states armed desu. You are nothing to me merely just some other desu. I will desu y'all the fuck out with desu the likes of which has never been seen before on this desu, mark my fucking desu. You think you lot can get abroad with proverb that desu to me over the desu? Recall once again, desu. As we speak I am contacting my cloak-and-dagger network of desu across the USA and your desu is existence traced right now and then you better prepare for the spam, maggot. The spam that wipes out the pathetic little affair you call your desu. Y'all're fucking desu, kid. I can be desu, desu, and I tin can desu you in over desu means, and that's only with my bare desu. Non only am I extensively trained in unarmed desu, just I have access to the unabridged armory of the United States Desu and I volition utilise information technology to its full extent to wipe your miserable desu off the face of the desu, y'all petty desu. If merely you could have known what unholy desu your little "desu" annotate was almost to bring downward upon you lot, maybe you would have held your fucking desu. But you lot desu, you desu, and at present you lot're desu, yous goddamn desu. I will shit desu all over you lot and yous volition drown in it. You're fucking desu, kiddo.

What the fuck did you but fucking say nearly me, yous little bitch. I'll take you know my name is John, and I woke up this forenoon v:30 precipitous to the odour of moisture pussy. I was getting a blowjob from two bitches (Shit was So Cash), one was trying to fit my humongous 3 pound balls in her mouth while the other was choking halfway on my 18 and three\eight inch dick. She started to squirt hard, she was convulsing and having half-dozen orgasms at the aforementioned fourth dimension. I gave it to them and they were on the floor squirting like motherfucking fountains. Must have come about a quart of sperm and compressed air. Imagine your best orgasm, then multiply it by 35. I had to get to base camp so I front-flipped from my 14th flooring barracks into my valet parked 2012 Ferrari (I got connexions). Pushed my shit to about four hundo (mph, mind you lot) and I was at base of operations military camp in no time. When I entered, I became a top sniper and was granted access to the unabridged arsenal of the USMC. I learned how to impale someone in over 700 dissimilar ways and was assigned to be the leader of a squad that volition kill 300 terrorists using gorilla warfare tactics. Also did 6000 button-ups, 8000 sit down-ups and bench-pressed 30 plates in 16 minutes. After bones grooming, I met a network of undercover spies who will help me trace your IP accost, while eating golden plated sushi and fifteen,000 $ champagne. My unit of measurement got the residuum of the mean solar day off and I became helm of our base's football game team and starter of the basketball team. I got directly A's on the military entrance exams and received more awards. Meanwhile, you lot were jacking off to pictures on Facebook and naked drawn Japanese people. Went back in the Lambo to my barracks and now I am getting set to become to sleep. I am going to graduate at the elevation of my class in the Navy Seals tomorrow and I want to look pretty much perfect for information technology. Don't be a stranger and think, I did more than in one mean solar day than you will your entire life.

What the fuck did y'all just fucking say virtually my gear, you trivial n00b? I'll have you know I am a lvl xc Undead Arcane Mage, and I've won so many PVP matches, and I take done raids on every ten man heroic dungeon. I likewise have a fuckton of macros and I have a GS of 10K. You are nothing to me but only a lvl 12 gnome hunter. I volition pwn the fuck out of you with Arcane Missiles the likes of which has never been seen earlier on Azeroth AND Outland, marker my fucking words. You think you can become away with saying that shit to me over raid? Retrieve over again, fucker. As nosotros speak I am contacting my society of mages and shamans beyond The Eastern Kingdoms and your character is being targeted correct now then y'all better prepare for the ownage, n00b. The Arcane Barrage that wipes out the pathetic picayune matter you call your character. You lot're fucking pwn'd, n00b. I tin can be anywhere, someday, and I can kill y'all in over seven hundred means, and that's just with my secondary talent tree. Non only am I extensively trained in Arcane magic, but I have access to the entire arsenal of Fire magic and I will apply information technology to its full extent to wipe your miserable neckbeard off the face of Azeroth, you little faggot. If just you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring downwards upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking natural language. Only you couldn't, you didn't, and at present you're getting debuffed, you goddamnn00b. I will shit Dragon'southward Breath all over you and you lot will burn in it. You're fucking pwn'd, faggot.

Are you kidding me y'all little slice of shit i'll have you know i graduated top of my politics class and i've been involved in privilege checking with over 150 confirmed political demonstrations i'one thousand trained in conflict resolution and i was the most oppressed person in my entire upper heart class high school you lot are nothing to me but another cultural appropriator i volition wipe y'all the fuck out with precision the likes of which have never been seen on this side of the 49th parallel mark my words you think y'all can get away with saying that shit to me over the internet think over again fucker, equally we speak i'g checking with my anarcho-communist analyst brigade for your location so you better be prepared to bargain with some molotov cocktails and angry feminists flying through your window yOU'RE FUCKING Dead Scarlet! i tin exist anywhere at whatever fourth dimension and i can kill you in over vii hundred ways and that'southward merely with me irksome you to death while i talk about privilege not only am i extensively trained in hotline management only i have access to an entire armory of sociological articles to prove my bespeak and i volition use them to wipe your fucking confront off the earth you niggling shit if only you had known what oppressed retribution your cultural cribbing would unleash and then maybe you would have held your fucking tongue but you couldn't you're fucking dead kiddo

I don't requite a fuck who you are or where you live. You can count on me to be at that place to bring your fucking life to a hellish end. I'll put you in and so much fucking pain that it'll brand Jesus being nailed to a cross in the desert look like a fucking back massage on a tropical island. I don't give a fuck how many reps you lot have or how tough you lot are IRL, how well you can fight, or how many fucking guns you ain to protect yourself. I'll fucking show up at your house when y'all aren't home. I'll plow all the lights on in your firm, leave all the water running, open your refrigerator door and not shut it, and turn your gas stove burners on and let them waste gas. You're going to start stressing the fuck out, your blood pressure will triple, and you'll have a fucking eye attack. You lot'll go to the hospital for a heart performance, and the last matter yous'll see when you're existence put under in the operating room is me hovering above you, dressed like a doctor. When you wake upwards afterwards being operated on, wondering what ticking time bomb is in your breast waiting to get off. You'll recover fully from your heart surgery. And when yous walk out the front door of the hospital to go habitation I'll run yous over with my fucking car out of no where and kill you. I just want you to know how easily I could fucking destroy your pathetic excuse of a life, merely how I'd rather go to a neat fuckng length to make sure your last remaining days are spent in a living, breathing fucking hell. Information technology'due south too late to save yourself, but don't carp committing suicide either… I'll fucking resuscitate you and kill you once again myself y'all bitch-faced phaggot. Welcome to hell, population: you